Month: June 2006

Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman

Given my relentless campaign to promote “the Q” (that’s the totally rad nickname that all the hipsters will soon be calling my neighborhood, Kew Gardens), I was delighted to find that Hollywood produces blocked off much of the intersection of Austin St. and Lefferts Blvd. this past weekend to shoot scenes for Spiderman 3 (there’s already a teaser trailer, even though the movie won’t be out until next summer). Hopefully, Spidey will swing past the Kew Gardens Cinema slowly enough for viewers to admire the fine selection of independent and art house flicks being offered, grab a knosh from Baker’s Dozen (which Alan Amalgamated promotes as “Scrumptious Bagels” – oh, yeah, he’s on “the Q” team!) and land for a slice at Dani’s House of Pizza. That way, next summer, throngs of movie fans will swarm to “the Q,” and raise the property value of my own real estate empire. […]

Goal.

I was at the H Mart buying creatures of the deep for a Fathers Day meal when I was startled by the sudden roar of cheers and a polite, but enthusiastic, burst of applause. The Japanese and Korean checkers and baggers were gathered around a teevee that had a terrible reception of Telemundo. Korea had just scored against France to tie the match. Oh, that’s right. The rest of the world is intensely focused on the World Cup these days. The native lawnguylanders scowled at all the fuss and went back to their shopping routines. I’m jealous of all the fuss and wish I could really get into soccer – er, futbol – the way hundreds of millions do. Aside from the occasional rioting and hooliganism, it does seem a wonderful bit of global togetherness. Back at the university – itself, a model United Nations – the student activities center […]

Jim Hurd, 1955-2006

It is a special peculiarity of our time that it is possible write an obituary for a friend that you have never met. I think I first heard about Jim Hurd, the Hoosier Socialist, from Jen Ray bitching about him (Hell, she bitched about everyone, so why not him?) ten years ago. Jim was a gadfly on the Socialists Unmoderated mailing list and a member of the Socialist Party. Jim quit the party over some stupid sectarian pronouncement of our National Committee and joined the CP, and he advanced – along with the internets – from listserves to blogs. He was an occasional commentator on this blarg (his most recent comment a quip in response to my “Being “Wrong” in the Socialist Party” piece that referenced Mark 6:4), and a gadfly blogger in his own right. It’s a punch in the stomach to read that Jim Hurd died a week […]

Worst. Park Name. Ever.

The charming statue of an befuddled capitalist foot soldier, who had gone missing like so many other men in ties with attache cases after 9/11, has returned to the former Liberty Plaza around the corner from Ground Zero. The park is now named after one John E. Zuccotti. Who the fuck is John E. Zuccotti, you ask? Is he a fireman who died that day, or perhaps a waiter at Windows on the World or a stockbroker at Cantor Fitzgerald? The classic comedic duo George Pataki and Dan Doctoroff revealed all in a high-larry-us send-up of award ceremonies at yesterday’s unveiling: “In the category of New Name for a Refurbished, 26-Year-Old Park,” Mr. Doctoroff began, “the winner is – ” ” – the winner is,” Mr. Pataki continued, “the chairman of Brookfield Properties, the chairman of the Real Estate Board of New York, the former first deputy mayor of the […]