In Which I Ape Larry King

It turns out maintaining a blog while taking on increasing responsibilities at work and trying to finish my Masters degree and trying to maintain some semblance of a personal life is a bit tricky. Plus, I think Facebook statuses suck up an alarming amount of my wit (or potential wit). But before I throw in the towel and start a Twitter, I’m going to try my hand at one of those lazy Larry King round-ups of commentary, reviews and “observations.” (Actually, I’ve never really seen a full installment of Mr. Suspenders’ program, so I’m really just aping those even lazier parodic send-ups of Larry King.) Either these are placeholders for bigger, better posts or else they are the aborted remains of very promising ideas.

There’s a certain poignancy in that moment of steeling oneself at the front door for a charging dog who will never again slam his 90 pound body into your knees. Or how a leash, brush and bowl in a plastic supermarket bag can require the same negotiation as a chest full of heirloom jewels at the reading of a will. And when does dropping little bits of food on the ground cease being nice, and start being rude?

Upon third listening, the new Spoon record (a sleeper, like all others before it) sounds like a new, incredible advance. Like many of “Transference’s” reviewers, I’m attracted by the idea of Britt Daniel & Co. fully embracing the bombast that they have spent four successive records stripping to the bone. But the more that the band breaks down their songs to the most spare and elemental, the more I enjoy following them on their journey. I’m ready for their next record, comprising the sounds of Daniels’ pencil scratching paper while Jim Eno tunes his snare.

How hard is it to find a good coffee table?! I realize that furniture is particularly subjective to taste (and there are few people more particular than me), but sheesh. If it’s not one thing, it’s the color. Black, for the record, is not tobacco, not coffee and certainly not mahogany. It seems like everything out there alternates between the extremely baroque or the post-post-modern. Gahd forbid you want to protect the wood finish with a little bit of glass. Oh, no. If you want a glass-top coffee table, the glass will be held aloft by skinny angular metal, positive vibes and pixie dust.

Having as many obituaries on my site as I do, I’ve grown accustomed to estranged friends of the deceased learning the bad news by stumbling upon my blarg via Gooooooogle searches. It is somewhat dispiriting to see how long it can take before a good college buddy, former comrade or ex-girlfriend decides to investigate a bounced email or missing Christmas card. The responses to one particular comrade’s death (no names, comrades) are notable for their extreme sadness and their extreme tardiness. Did he make deep, profound connections with his friends and then retreat into his own private world? Am I doomed to do the same?

I’m reminded of the outlaw country singer / mystery writer Kinky Friedman, who writes of his shared fear of dying in his apartment and being devoured by his hungry cat before anyone notices. In his novels, Kinky writes of the “M.I.T. System.” The idea is quite simple. “M.I.T.” stands for Man In Trouble, and the point is to establish a reciprocal understanding with a friend that every few days each will call the other and say nothing more than, “M.I.T., M.I.T., M.I.T.” (Because, really, who wants to force small talk every two or three days?) If you don’t receive an “M.I.T.” call from your friend after three days, convince his Super to let you into the apartment to search for his half-eaten corpse and lay some kibble out for the ravenous cat.

I’ve made “M.I.T.” arrangements with a handful of friends over the years and, come to think of it, I have not received a “M.I.T.” call from any of them, nor they from I, in a long while. Better start Goooooogling.

Recent Search Engine Terms That Drove Traffic to My Webpage

Presented without commentary:

big rats
selective service letter
allen sessoms
gastonia strike,1929
“mary loritz”
red strawberry shoelace licorice
umass ula program
red scare political cartoon
shaun richman
finska black licorice
“federation of union representatives”
old fashioned licorice laces not twirler
cat abortificant
“shaun richman” jew
shaun richman aft national staff

The Great Blog Circle Jerk, part IV

I’m pleased as punch to finally be able to acknowledge someone who has been instrumental in keeping me on the dubya dubya dubya dot org all these years. I’ve worked with Josh Handle (Handle is a “handle,” dig?) on a number of socialist websites (including Ypsl’s and others) over the years, most of which he designed as I barked orders for how it should look. For my own dot org, he’s been an indispensable resource for coaching me through Blosxom, WordPress, PhP and other techno-gibberish that I would not otherwise understand.

Josh shares that democratizing impulse for the internet on his own blog, Open Source Society. It’s a good resource, and probably about as readable as this geek talk can be. If you need more hand holding, he’s offering his services for a fee for web design. His web design work, and, more importantly, his availability and cooperativeness, get the strongest endorsement from me. Plus, it’s for a good cause. Comrade’s got a lot of babies to feed.

Comment Is Free

I’m getting more comfortable with the Word Press software that powers this Blarg, so I’ve been stretching out and enjoying some of its features. First off, comment is now free. I’ve disabled the requirement that a reader must register before posting a comment, but I’ve increased the scrutiny of the spam filter. So, please, do leave comments on these posts but try to avoid writing about viagra or mortgage refinancing, or else your comments might be deleted unread. Secondly, I have now deigned to accept your direct e-mail correspondence, in the Pen Pal link to the left. Thanks to Frieda Gerson for pestering me to finally set up a contact form, and to Shannon Hammock for actually writing lonesome me.

Finally, I can now peep the peepers, using a tool that shows what search engine terms are directing people to this website. To the young men who are searching this week for “FAFSA and Conscientious Objector status,” I’m glad I could offer some useful advice. To those of you who are googling Allen Sessoms, yes he was a dick when he was Queens College’s President, too. To those of you who are searching for “New York Mets Choke,” I don’t know what’s bringing you here, but you don’t have to rub it in, assholes. To those of you who are googling Sarah Stefanko (her parents?), you won’t find any dirt on this Blarg. I’m taking her secrets to my grave. And, finally, to those of you who are searching for “shaun richman,” you found me hiding in plain sight. And to the one odd duck who searched for “‘shaun richman’ + sex,” please write me right away.