The phone rang this afternoon. A man in a high-pitched youngish voice asked for Mr. Richman and said that he had a few questions about the health of New York City and wouldn’t take more than 45 seconds. He sounded like a rushed telemarketer, reading a standard script. I let him ask his question, on the off-chance it was some kind of political poll.
“Do you approve of the job that Mayor Mike Bloomberg is doing?,” he asked me. “Um…,” I hesitated, before finally emphatically declaring, “No.” (The truth is that I don’t think Bloomberg’s doing an awful job, especially after the bad Giuliani days, but, still, I’d rather get a Republican out of office.)
“Okay, sir, I understand,” the young man said nervously, before launching a frantic and fast-paced rap that I wish I could have recorded in order to properly transcribe. It went something like this: “Keeping in mind that Mayor Bloomberg has enacted a jobs program that created over 50,000 jobs, enabling everyone who wants a job to find one, would you now say that you approve of the job Mayor Bloomberg is doing?”
“Still no,” I said through the laughter, quickly adding, “What organization are you calling from?” The young man replied, “I can’t tell you the name of my organization because then you might wanna come down here and throw a brick through our window.” I found it hard to believe that he didn’t have to reveal the name of his organization. “Well, are you calling from Bloomberg’s re-election committee?” I asked him.
“Yes, we are working for Mayor Bloomberg’s campaign,” came the cryptic response. In the brief silence, I could hear the voices of other young men in the background asking the same scripted questions, in the same rushed and unpolished manner. “Okay, sir, can I ask you one more question?” he continued. I consented, and he asked, “What do you think should be the top priority of the Mayor? “Housing,” I declared without missing a beat. “Thank you, sir, for providing your time and input,” he finished, “and have a nice day.”
“Good luck,” I sarcastically replied. They’re gonna need it.